Emergency Pregame Preseason Rant

[Blue Man]

Last night, I think a part of me died. I legit got up from my seat, walked to the pub in the south endzone, and just started facing gansetts. Heard the confirmation that EC was done for the year, and would have gladly torn my own ACL out and given it to EC on the spot. I don't know that I've been in as dark a place as that since probably '98. I was in 5th grade. A girl wore a Stanford shirt to school the next day. I threw a chair in her general direction. I got in trouble. I have no regrets.

That was anger.

Last night and this morning was a new feeling. Straight helplessness.

When EC went down I just flat out said "we're cursed." Everyone agreed. "God hates URI." Everyone nodded. Years of sucking had insulated me, I had thought, from this despair - but then I realized that true suffering comes from hope. This was the year. It wasn't just a pipe dream. This year. It wasn't just in my head like every other year. There were facts and national pundits and polls and votes and stories and predictions that all said the same thing. This year. This fucking year.

Then our main pillar, the first real talent we brought in, the first beacon of hope and bastion of everything that this program could be at its best - goes down. 1 measly point away from 1000 - just as an additional "fuck you" to add to the situation. A general thought of "this is how it's supposed to be" crept into my head. That thought stayed there all day.

With everything else going on in the world I continued to just feel helpless, hopeless, and shitty. After a whole day of what felt like just floating through the world with no direction, I decided to just sit in my room in the dark - because "fuck us and fuck me and god fucking damnit I should've known better than trusting that this year was our year."

I finally got up the balls to read the official statement from EC and URI, and I sank lower. I sat here and continued to ponder life and existence and why this team and this program and EC, Dan, everyone affects me and probably a good amount of us more than it should.

Then it hit me.

We can handle this.

We were made for this.

Face of your program went down? Did you know an NCAA championship coach left us like 4 fucking times on April fools day?

Your hopes implode at once with your leaders knee ligaments? Did you know who Jerry D was? That was our fucking coach for 2 years.

The kid you put your hopes and dreams of college basketball immortality on is in tears on the floor? JIM BARON WAS OUR COACH FOR OVER A FUCKING DECADE.

We were the highest RPI ranking to be left out of the dance. We couldn't beat a ranked team in 30 god damn tries. We haven't been to the NCAA in 15 fucking years. We can't get calls at home or on the road. Our state government funds 8% of our school's budget. Our state legislature supports our private school rival. Our state paper has pretended we don't exist. We've had our games broadcast on AM radio til last fucking season. We've had ranked teams invent new ways to lose games and piss away NCAA bids. We've blown leads, tournaments, seasons and recruitments in ways that would make the New York Mets blush.

Do you think this fucking scares me? Or any of us?

FUCK. YOU. FUCK. NO.

WE'RE MOTHERFUCKING RHODE ISLAND RAMS.

RHODE ISLAND BORN AND FUCKING RHODE ISLAND BRED FOR THIS SHIT.

Mo lewis killed Drew Bledsoe. How'd that work out?

Yankees had a 3-0 series lead on the Sox in '04. How'd that work out?

Our entire life - as URI fans and New Englanders - has prepared us for this.

We're not front runners. We're underdogs.

199th pick in the draft, forgotten by our own state, take no shit, chip on our shoulder, mother. fucking. HUNTERS.



Do you know who the fuck is on our sidelines? It sure as fuck ain't some mustacio'd poseur ass excuse machine that doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

His name is Dan motherfucking Hurley. He has a god damn wolf pack of fucking savages. Hunters. Hungry fucking animals like Hass Martin, Jared Terrell, Kuran Iverson, Jarvis Garrett - fucking studs. Do you think one injury is going to make that pack of alphas get soft?

Do you think any of them are going to let their brother go down in vein? For nothing?

Do you think ARD or any of those coaches are gonna slack and say "fuck it - maybe next year?"

FUCK. YOU. FUCK. NO.

This is a god damn family. Dan to Stan and everyone in between. Thorr to the last student that just figured out this school has a basketball team. If you graduated in 1920 or you're a freshman. If you never went to URI and you just hate Arthur Lee because he's a dick. We are a family. Family picks each other up, and puts each other on their backs.

One of our family went down. We're going to pick him up.

EC is going to be a rallying cry.

EC is our motivation.

EC is going to lead this hunt. EC is going to inspire this hunt. EC is our motherfucking strength and it goes far beyond the basketball court.

We fucking love you Elbert. Because of that, we're not going to let you down. We're not going to pack it in. We're not going to stop. WE ARE GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING HUNT.

Licking wounds and wallowing in pity is for pussies. We're hunters.

WE ARE MOTHERFUCKING RAMS.

We were built for this life.

So bring it the fuck on: injuries, media, A10, NCAA, Valpo, Maryland, ODU, PC, Dayton, Davidson, VCU, GW, UMASS, fucking world.... who the fuck cares...bring it.

We're ready for you.

GRAB YOUR FUCKING NUTS BOYS AND GIRLS - ITS TIME TO FUCKING HUNT AND KILL.

I'll see you fucking savages at the tailgate Tuesday morning.

RHODY RHODY RHODY

[SmartyBarrett]

/hits play on video

/reads post

/runs through brick wall

[NHRamFan]

Suggested hashtags for the team:
#wehunters
#thehuntison
#huntandkill
#wehuntforec

[Micheal_Phelps_22]

God damn that was beautiful. Phenomenal stuff as always Blue Man.

I cannot wait until Tuesday morning. All we have heard about this team is how they are a family. Well strong families shine during the darkest hours. I know they will rebound from this devestating news in a way that will make us all proud.

LET'S FUCKING GO RHODY!!!!!

[neil]

Great post, I'll just say it "slightly" different.

Being a Ram fan ain't easy.
It would be nice to root for duke or the uconn women, we root for our rams.
The season is not over. Thompson, Four, Iverson will step up and we will be there for motivation.
Get your bodies to the ryan on Tuesday.
When the team comes out of the tunnel let them know you're still with them.
and keep looking at the tunnel because eventually EC will come out. EC Mathews, EcMathews, should be shouted over and over again.
You heard it from me - we do not lose on Tuesday. Losing is totally not acceptable.
WE are the Brian Piccolo who will make sure emotionally that Gale Sayers gets that knee back in shape. (sorry for the old analogy).
Have not and will not quit...that ram fan

[hrstrat57]

Outstanding rant, very well done.

We got Andre Berry too!

Hoooooo wah!

[theblueram]

It's time to ignite. Fight till the last man is standing. I'll see you BLUEMAN at Ellery Pond for a fucking bacon egg and cheese!!!!!! GO RAMS!!!!!!!!

[TruePoint]

via Imgflip Meme Maker

[TruePoint]

Dramatic reenactment of me and blue man in the Rhody Pub at halftime last night:

[steviep123]

Yes! The road was made more difficult, but not impossible. We can do this!

[The Dude]

Just riding along on the Rhody wave of life, man. All this injury talk is harshing my mellow. Peace, love, and go Rhody.

[Seawrightspostgame]

This was gold.

[Shaolin Swat]

A+ Rant and 100% spot on Blue Man

[rhodyras]

Wow... I feel better already...

...and I looove Brian Piccolo!

[Rhodymob05]

100% with you, time to move on from the injury and have the team and cosches step up! The Rams won't stop runnin'!

[Tom98]

I agree Blue Man! We need to regroup and we will get past this as a program. I'm hoping a can snap out of my mental funk on Tuesday!

[Rhodyhooopz]

Blue Man as the Miz would say that was AAAAWWWWWEEEEESSSSSSOOOOMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!!

[theblueram]

Thanks for the Bacon Egg and Cheese BlueMan!!!!!! I have never tailgated for a basketball game but that was great!!!!